BLONDE WITH A BACKPACK

...Like having your secret places massaged with soft butter - AA Gill

2011-05-18T22:27:00.001-07:00

I have just discovered AA Gill. And like the year I lived in London, it’s a love-hate relationship. Then again, that ‘calling a spade a spade’ mentality is what makes AA Gill’s travel writing so hard to put down…he doesn’t gush.

And he certainly doesn’t adhere to the unsaid rule of most professional travel writers - that as a guest of their subject they must not pack their cynicism with their coconut oil. No, AA Gill says it like he sees it. There’s nothing brochure-like about his work…

‘…Cuba is famous for failed politics, syncopated music, immoral women and cigars, and if an island could be a person, then Cuba would be Bill Clinton.’

Then there’s his day job - the food reviews. The Scottish born writer is one of the most feared food critics in London. So much so that when his travel column ‘AA GILL IS AWAY’ runs in London’s Sunday Times, the city’s top chefs let out a collective garlic-breathed sigh.

In fact, they will soon be able to breathe easy thanks to us, because AA Gill will be jetting off again in May headed for the Sydney Writer’s Festival.

On hearing this news, I purchased the collection of his travel writings published under the same title as they first appeared in the Sunday Times. And I quickly began to fall head over heals for his writing equally as much as I loathed the author, largely thanks to the chapter following the book’s forward titled ‘How it Works’.

Here Gill lays it all out on the table so those, like me, unfamiliar with his writing know exactly what they are in for. Just like the disclaimer above the ticket booth – there will be no refund offered at the end of the tour, even if you don’t see dolphins.

So you ready? Here goes… Gill declares that he travels to a city and interviews it. He asks questions, he listens, looks, lives with it and then makes observations that have come from his eyes only. And he does this all in just two or three days. He refuses to stay any longer in a destination he is writing about to avoid dulling the senses.

‘The more I see the less I know,’ he states. ‘What I write are essentially impressions. I need them to be as vivid and surprising as possible.’

And he doesn’t take notes. Not one. He doesn’t collect brochures, maps or receipts and he certainly doesn’t do any research. Nope. And this next declaration is bound to have university writing lecturers around the world banging their heads against their lecterns in frustration… he waits a few weeks after he has returned home before starting to write.

Arrogance or supreme confidence in his razor sharp sense of recall? Well you decide because he states all of this before you even step foot on his literary tour bus headed North, South, East and West. But from where I am sitting, shaking my head as I angrily thump pages thinking I have been doing everything so wrong, I can almost hear what he is really saying, had his publisher perhaps not stepped in: ‘this is the way I am, this is the way I do it. And if you don’t like it – stop reading. I dare you.’

But wait, he’s not quite finished with the declarations. Here’s the clincher. AA Gill doesn’t read anyone else’s work either. Nope. Because that could potentially be classed as research – gasp!

At least, as I learnt when I finally got to the articles, his self-righteous tone is consistent.

And yet here begins my love affair… his travel writing is truly refreshing. No one seems to view their surroundings quite like AA Gill does. And if they do, they certainly aren’t putting down in black and white…

‘(Japanese) Kabuki theatre is only just preferable to amateur root-canal work. The three stringed guitar is a sad waste of cat….the samurai were thugs in frocks with stupid haircuts, and haiku poems are limericks that don’t make you laugh.’

Nor as witty…

‘It(Grumeti River in

Tanzania

) is home to turgid pods of hippo and crocodile you could land small planes on. Each big enough to make a set of luggage that world comfortably take Joan Collins on a world cruise.’

His sentences are packed with so many external references - from literature, politics, popular culture – that you sometimes need to sit and absorb each one for a few minutes to fully understand the meaning.

‘Modern Japanese people get born Shinto, married Christian, buried Buddhist and work Mazda. Consequently they believe everything and nothing…. I’ve never come across a place whose spiritual options were so barren. This pick-and-mix theology has stunted

Japan

like a tonsured, root-bound pine tree.’

Or this…

‘…Konisberg was the capital of Ost Prussia, a sort of Kraut Kosovo, the spiritual home of the Germanic chivalry and bellicosity. It’s also one of those historically buried fault lines, the scars that crisscross old Europe and occasionally ache with an ancient, half-remembered resentment.’

And other times, you’ll find yourself going back over sentences, just to check you read them correctly …

‘All Ethiopians have infinite reserves of charm. Talking to them is like having your secret places softly massaged with warm butter.’

He didn’t? Yes, yes he did. To gloss over AA Gill’s jam-packed sentences is to miss half of the observations, whether they be shocking, insightful or thought provoking. They say as much about AA Gill and his upbringing, education and views, as they do about the places he visits. Another point he is all to happy to admit…

‘I am often being accused of being contentious. I suppose I predictably and rather arrogantly I take that as a compliment. If my articles cause raised blood pressure, then good – that’s what first person journalism in for: we hacks do opposition. But while they may be the start of the argument, they’re never the last word. There is no last word.’

And what I came to admire the most about AA Gill’s writing is the element of surprise. Both in his prose but especially in his observations. He comes to Sydney to see the Opera House and doesn’t get caught up in the world famous architecture but the shockingly large bats flying overhead that are more often than not reduced only to dark blobs in the starry sky of tourist snap shots.

Only AA Gill goes to Milan to cover fashion shows and writes, not about clothing but about a stunningly dressed woman sitting in stilettos in a wheelchair trying to solo navigate her way up the stairs of Prada while the wafer-thin shop assistants look on bemused, not daring to tread a Prada-pumped foot outside to assist.

He sees the forest for the trees alright, but AA Gill writes about the bear crap on the forest floor.

Only AA Gill, while on safari in the Serengeti, would turn his attention away from the ‘teeming animals’ to focus his attention on the normally unnoticed but best-fed beasts of the safari…

‘I could sit and watch honeymooners for hours. They are endlessly fascinating and rewarding. The main reward being that I will never ever have to be one of them again. Africa is a perfect postnuptial ecosystem. It has danger, nature, adventure and the Tiffany of night skies. All the subliminal triggers for a really good ‘Me Tarzan – You Jane’ sex life.’

It is also, only fair to add, that the world renown critic isn’t above praise. He does let his guard down from time to time… well, almost.

‘I wouldn’t normally mention trees in the city, but BA’s (Buenos Aires) are spectacular. Jacarandas, eucalyptus, rubber trees, long, shady avenues in gardens, and it’s very Anglophile, which is always a relief.’

So if surprise is the element of success to Gill’s writing, and I long to be as successful as he, then what’s the shocking observation here? Well having just critiqued the critic, here’s my conclusion formed over three days and without notes…

AA Gill you want people not to like you. The very basis of using ‘AA’ instead of Adrian Anthony may initially have been because it ‘sounds like an aging Florida interior designer who once did Rock Hudson’s pool house out as a tiki-tiki wet bar’, but it conveniently distances the readers from the mysterious author. And I think this is what you thrive off. It’s the basis for your writing. It’s what allows you to make such searing critiques, it permits you to unashamedly scratch beneath the shiny tourist top layer and then sit there and pick the bits out from under your fingernails.

But this is also where you are becoming horribly unstuck. In a landscape riddled with lofty travel writing, overflowing with glowing adjectives you stands all alone, a top the Sydney Opera House covered in bat crap. There isn’t a travel writer so consistently real.

So I hope I can speak for more than just myself, when I say our love-hate relationship is now over.

Surprise AA Gill, we like you.

(AA Gill is currently in town for the Sydney Writers' Festival. I am seeing him talk tonight...can't wait.)

Scandinavia by Segway

2011-05-10T21:55:00.000-07:00

Reflections from my visit to Copenhagen in July 2010...

City tours can be dead boring. Whether it’s onboard those red double-decker ‘hop-on hop-off’ buses circling most major cities or on a group tour with a guide holding a sign or umbrella aloft - tours can make you feel like you’re back in school.

There’s often too many people, not enough time and absolutely no room for adventure. However, there is a futuristic new mode of touring that is gaining popularity around the world and in particular, in the Danish capital of Copenhagen…touring by segway.

Never heard of a segway? Well, neither had I until I signed up for a two-hour city tour and discovered that a segway is an upright, two-wheeled contraption commonly used by security guards in shopping centres and airports due to their manoeuvrability and compact size. They are cheap to run, thanks to the five individual gyroscopes controlling movement, direction and speed, and without an engine, segways are a very green-mode of transport making them ideal in Denmark, a country with a big environmental conscience.

As for sightseeing, they provide a comfortable and easy way to cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time, perfect for taking in a new city.

Now I must admit, I was a bit hesitant to step aboard as it seemed like a lazy option to walking. But once I had my two feet firmly planted on my segway I quickly changed my tune because it takes quite a bit of skill to master the art of segway-ing.

With no steering wheel, buttons, leavers or brakes the segway can be somewhat of a daunting contraption to begin with, but after a few practice laps around the car park it became as easy as, well, walking.

As the guide pointed out, if you ski you’ll be more likely to understand how to control your segway as it is all about balance. A lapse in concentration, or a sneeze, can send you hurtling along.

But Copenhagen is well and truly designed for segways. It is a pancake flat city lined with bicycle-ways - so we weren’t limited to where we could go. Cobblestone streets did add a little excitement to the ride but in two-hours we managed to cover over 14 kilometres of the city’s top tourist locations including the colourful canals of Nyhavn and the grandiose Amalienborg Palace - the Danish Royal Family’s winter residence. The palace is every bit as fairytale as imagined and with Princess Mary due to give birth to twins in January, there was a definite buzz to the place.

Of course, no visit to Copenhagen would be complete without a visit to the Little Mermaid. But as we rolled by the site you’d normally find the iconic statue we were disappointed to find a movie screen jutting out of the rocks streaming live images of the Little Mermaid in China, where she herself was touring.

As far as city tours go, sightseeing by segway is fun. Not once did I feel rushed or like I was being herded around like one of the flock. And thanks to an audio piece in the helmet, the guide was continuously feeding us information about all the places we glided by. He even accommodated the group’s many photographic urges, plus a few sudden deviations from the planned route to check out something of interest.

But despite it’s popularity, touring by segway is still a relatively new sight to the Danish landscape and I was consistently reminded of this by the stares, points and even photographs taken by surprised onlookers on the Stroget. In the ultimate case of irony, the tourists had become the attraction!

The only complaint I had was when the tour ended and I finally stepped off the segway back on solid ground. My ankles ached and walking had never seemed so slow.

(Plans for South America 2013 are under way. In the meantime, I am catching up on my adventures over the past few years. I hope you enjoy heading down memory lane with me...by segway!)

Remember me...?

2011-04-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

Most of my exciting trips have started at the end. The end of long-term relationship that hurt to stay as much as it hurt to first walk away. Resigning from a job I loved because I worked for a man I hated. The completion of the snow season which sent me in search of sunshine and far, far away from Italian ski instructors and flaming shots of butterscotch schnapps.

You have to close one door before you can fully open another. A cliché yes, but a familiar pattern in my life.

So when I recently decided to go backpacking through South America, with no great trail of destruction and unhappy endings behind me, I wondered whether I had broken the cycle. I was ready to start off on an adventure without packing the emotional baggage. Without the desire to prove I was a strong and independent female. Without looking to replace some long lasting disaster in my life with some short lived joy, or brown-eyed backpacker.

I was in a happy place. So hang on, why did I want to leave my perfect bubble and venture out in to the big bad world again?

Because travel is not the quick fix to life’s little dramas nor is it the somewhat expensive self-help therapy required to put your life back on a more wholesome, spiritual track. Travel is what I do. And I don’t need an excuse to justify my next big trip. Sure I had some beauties in the past – but were they just a damn good, if not convenient excuse?

Wow…did I really just make that observation? That was heavy.

So anyway, here begins the next phase of the 'blonde with the backpack'. Four years on from my last entry and not much has changed. Yes I am now 28. Yes I have a mortgage. And yes, I have found my best friend in life who I am now engaged to and subsequently, has become my new travel companion too. But it doesn’t mean I have forgotten my old travel buddies either.

Bertha the backpack may be a little dusty and even a tad mouldy on the straps, but she has never once let me down and while I am still fit enough to throw her on my shoulders, I am not trading her in for a Samsonite hard-shell suitcase on swivel wheels. As fashionable as that does sound!

In fact, I hope that as long as I live I will always be plagued with the never ending dilemma of trying to haul my overstuffed pack on to my back as I travel through some of the most amazing moments of my life. That’s what makes travel so rewarding, the struggle, the lessons learned along the way, the mistakes made that hopefully haven’t cost you too much money or dignity.

But this time it’s different. This time, I am kicking it off with a fresh start and the end, I hope, is nowhere in sight. Let the journey begin!

Under the sea - diving in Mauritius

2007-10-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

As promised, this entry is dedicated to my amazing experience diving in Mauritius.

Diving is one of those things that you either love doing, have always wanted to do but never got around to getting your flippers on and sitting the course, or have no inkling whatsoever to do even if somebody paid you! Up until two weeks ago I fell into the second category (I still have the brochures next to my bed to prove it!), so seized the chance to do my PADI Open Water diving course on my second week in Mauritius, visiting my Dad who is living and working on this island paradise.

The course took four days and I instilled (my gorgeous, very calm and patient instructor) Brian with my complete trust. A very rare thing for me to do but I was out of my depths, excuse the lame pun!

So on day one, after a quick rundown of the equipment, it was into the pool for some basic training. The best part was having to walk through the lobby of the hotel scarying the Italian tourists who the majority of, as I later found out, would rather die than go swimming in the ocean letting the 'fish touch them'. And this was coming from a good looking guy, about my age covered in tattoos. Boy, did he soundly seem so unattractive!

So out into the ocean we went. Our first dive was a wreck dive but I am buggered if I noticed or enjoyed my surroundings. I was so busy focusing on breathing and what I was doing that i may aswell still been in the pool. But I must confess, after 15 minutes I did the signal that I wanted to surface - and we did. I wasn't freaking out but was short of breath. We got the to top and I was like, right I am ready to go stright back down, much to Brian's shock!

I guess my reason was that I just needed to know I could safely surface and get out of there if I had to or even needed to. And well, I now knew I could. Go on - call me a control freak!

So after that it was amazing and by my third open water dive to 18m for over 40minutes I had completely forgotten I was underwater and was just loving swimming with all of the amazing fish. Brian realised he could now have fun with me and on one of my levitating excuses decide to position me over a live lobster on the ocean floor - unbeknownst to me - until he pointed and I looked down at this poor creature freaking out just 20cm away from my thigh. I had a great dinner that night - lobster! No, not that one but obviously a close relative.

The hardest part to getting my lisence was the theory side. I had decided to do the course in 4 days so had a lot of reading to do, before sitting the test on my last day. What I found was the more reading I did, the better I understod the situation and my equipment and the more at ease I was. I passed the test despite horrible flashbacks to high school mathematics when it was time to complete the dive table section and am now a qualified diver. Man I love being able to say that!

Diving in Mauritius is relatively affordable and my course cost around AUD$450 which is over half the cost of what it would have been at home in Australia. The only major downfall is that most instructors speak French so you must find an English speaking dive centre for when hand signals just won't do. So now I need a dive buddy to continue my underwater exploration in my own backyard now that I am (sadly) back on home soil.

Simone x

Snow one day, sunshine and surf the next

2007-10-17T17:00:00.000-07:00

The 2007 snow season has officially come to a close, but not without drama of course. On the final days, we had 20cm of snow fall, not only keeping most resorts open for business for another two weeks but also nearly forcing me to dig my way out before driving home to Sydney after 4 amazing, fun and hard working months!

So, after two days at home, I unloaded my winter gear from Bertha the backpack and then reloaded her with my summer gear, leaving a wake of clothing mayhem behind me. It was off to Mauritius to visit my family who are living/working there at the moment and to defrost.

I had such a fabulous trip that I am going to have to break all my adventures down into a few blog entries as there is too much to write and too many gorgeous pictures to show.

But for those of you not familiar with Mauritius, it's a small Island off the coast of East Africa, not far from Madagascar. There is a large French/Mauritian population as well as Indian population now too, asthey were originally brought over to help with the sugar can crops, Mauritius' main export.

So stay tuned for my next blog on scub a diving in paradise....

Sim x

Gone fishin'

2007-09-26T13:57:00.001-07:00

Who says fishing is just for boys? Not me - at least not after going for a fly fishing casting lesson! My boss thought it would be a good idea to write an article on girls going fishing so - guess who wound up (excuse the pun), ankle deep in womabt crap and sitting on an ants nest on the banks of the Thredbo River. Yep, moi!

But much to my shock and horror, I had a great time. Fly fishing is quite an art and actually requires some skill, unlike normal fishing which requires only patience and a good book in my opinion. Plus, there's a crafty element which is right up my alley and involves making your own flies using animal hair, feathers and whatever materials you dig up from Lincraft. Now this is my kind of sport!

My teacher, the very patient Haig, told me that girls generally make good students because we listen as opposed to boys who just want to cast the bloody thing as far as they can. And well, in no time I was on the village green casting like a pro and the old pitching arm from my softball days came in handy, once again!

Unfortunately, all I caught was a twig. And don't scoff - it was a pretty decent sized twigs as far as twigs go but I threw it back because it's all about catch and release! Wouldn't have tasted too great either!

But seriously, the fishing season doesn't officially open until this weekend so it is illegal to fish in the National Parks before then. So for the next few days I guess it will be back to the village green, practicing my technique. Hmmm... maybe today I might catch a frisbee or a small child?! x

Quarter of a Century and Not Out!

2007-09-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I turned the ripe ol' age of 25! As per usual, it just meant another excuse to go out and party - drinking far too much and dressing like I don't own a mirror!

It just so happened to be Fiona's birthday 3 days later (we are 3 years and 3 days apart) and so we had a combined retro 80s ski wear party since we are both 80s babies, at karaoke. And let's just say that when we arrived the bar it was packed but after just 2 songs, there weren't many people left! Gotta love how you sound like Whitney Houston after 2 drinks - or is that just me? We rocked the casbah, watched in awe as here came the hot stepper and remembered the summer of '69. It was all class, all the time.

We had an absolute blast - which was the main thing. With the gorgeous Helen and Lauren coming up from Sydney just for the party - thanks guys. Hels, you did that bib and brace proud and Loz, no one will ever do justice to those tight, flouro lycra tights like you did! Amen for St Vinnies!

And a special thanks to Fifi, who I know will be reading this because as she confessed, she loves reading about what she gets up to on my blog. The treasure hunt in the morning was gorgeous - thank you fo making my day and night super special.

OK, back to the embarrassing stories. So I have had many flashbacks of what happened that night, ranging from mounting the bar with the microphone to serenade the guy behind the bar (cringe) and running through Thredbo village (fully dressed) saying 'we are all going streaking, to the quad - come with!'. Oh, too funny. Lucky I am leaving this village soon!

Sim x

Shagwell by name, shag very well by reputation

2007-09-18T13:45:00.000-07:00

So my latest batch of incriminating photos come from Monday night when it was the lifties party. It was fancy dress and my old flatmates invited Fiona and I. Scooter went as Austin Powers (he makes a great Austin!) and so I went as Felicity Shagwell just in case you can’t figure it out from the pics – ha! It was cheap and easy – OK.

So Fiona, at the 11th hour decided to go as cat woman much to Luke’s horror who had hoped she would tramp it up and be his Bond girl. But I think she looked puuurrr-fect if trampy enough in her fire engine red lipstick!
So people went to a lot of effort for the party, one guy going as Borat in the green man-kini. He pulled it off well, we thought at first. But on closer inspection at the bar he had a very pimpley bum! ‘You - not so good!’

It was a sit down dinner but well, Fi and I managed to get food poisoning. And no, it wasn’t alcohol induced! We only had a few drinks as we were still recovering from our HUGE Saturday night two days before.

And I know I seem to always say what a huge night I had, but they seem to, somehow, be getting bigger and bigger as the season comes to a close. Thank goodness there is only 2 weeks left – I don’t think I can take anymore partying.

I never thought I would say that!

Sim x

Over & Out - but not without drama!

2007-09-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

I just completed my last TV report for the season which will air on Sports Tonight, tonight. There is now on 2 weeks left of the ski season, with everything wrapping on the October long weekend! Time has absolutely flown by!

Anyway (before I get all teary), in typical Simone style even my last TV report was full of drama! Our tripod carrier/camera assistant called in sick today so they got one of the ski instructors to fill in, since there seems to be alot of them and not many punters today. So out of the hoardes of instructors, who did they get? The Italian stallion I was 'kind of seeing' who got angry at me last weekend and we had a fight and I walked off and had a great night (i.e. read between the lines... met someone else). So anyway, I hadn't spoken to him since then and today he has to stand next to me and watch my report, throw snowballs at me for the report and be on panda eye alert (why didn't I wear waterproof mascara today?). Typical! It was awkward beyond belief!

Attached is a gorgeous pic our resort photographer got ealrier this week. It's a stunner and I had to share it with you.

So, I guess for the last time... "This is Simone Smith with the latest snow report."
xx

The past can be haunting...

2007-09-12T19:04:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those weeks where the past has been catching up with me!
It all started when, on facebook - the website I love and hate simultaneously yet can't seem to get off - I recieved an e-mail from 'The X'. It had been a blissful two-years and well, it was a shock to say the least to see his picture and name pop up in my inbox.
And then today, I recieved a message from a friend saying: Oh man, oh man Sim. Go to www.news.com.au . Which of course I then did, only to see that picture of me with my blow up kangaroo taken by a photographer when I was in Germany at the World Cup last year flash on screen next to a story on the 'Aussie Cultural Cringe - Loud and Proud!' Wow - I am now the unofficial poster girl for cultural cringeing the world over.
That damn photo has haunted me for a year now, running four times (that I know of), in The Times, the London paper twice and once in the SMH and now this. Actually, one of them is quite a funny story.... I had just started work at the Arts Council England when I was working in London, 3 weeks after returning from Germany. My first job on day one was to go through the paper and cut out cultural clippings. So pretending I was a civilized, arts-savvy Aussie (trying to shake all convict stereotypes the poms like to mutter at us whilst looking down their nose), I opened the newspaper to see this same picture staring back at me! I screamed and of course my new employer asked if I was OK and despite my efforts to prevent her from coming over and assuring her it was nothing, she came over to see what was wrong and she couldn't help but laugh at the pic of me with the blow up roo - musttering as she looked down her nose at me! Damn it!
Then, since things always happen in threes, I went to work drinks last week and ran into a guy up at the bar who I had snogged when I was 17. It was very random to bump into him 8 years later and when i got back to the table I relayed this story back to the people at my table, not realising that he was actually part of the table - dating the girl sitting one chair up from me! It was a big table, OK!!! When will I learn to keep my mouth shut?
So, hopefully all of my skeletons are out of the closet for now - I don't think I can handle anymore surprises, just yet.
Lots of love,
Sim x

Home Sweet Home

2007-09-11T15:02:00.001-07:00

I am sure everyone will agree with me that moving house sucks - well, I have now done it twice in one week. Well, I did it once and then poor Fiona and Marty had to pack up all my stuff and do it the second time when i was back in Sydney! If you are reading this owe you guys, BIG TIME!
Now, the first move was from Royal Bogong Number 4, out of the room I had shared with the snoronator for 3 months into a room nextdoor with Fiona. My first night I had a wonderful, sound sleep but the second night we had a visitor who entered the room when we where dead to the world and let's just say, he made himself at home! This was one of the other flatmates who was, well, completely out of it! As this was the second time this had apparently happened to poor Fi, it was now time to get out of this place.
So now I am happy to announce Fiona and I have our very own, one bedroom place which is completely free of snoring and pant dropping flatmates!
Last night we cooked dinner in our CLEAN kitchen and even made dessert - it was bliss. Unfortunately, the eggplant we were using was off so we found other things to do with it!
Sim x

ALL NIGHT LONG...

2007-09-10T17:46:00.000-07:00

OK, so I have hit an all time low. After an awesome, relaxing weekend in Sydney seeing the family and my gorgeous friends I headed back to the hills fully recharged. So what did I do - I had an all nighter - going straight to work at 5.30am without having a single zzzzzz. OK, so i think I actually passed out for 10minutes before my alarm went off.

You see, it was the final of the Australian Freeride Series and the comp was at night, under the big lights with the hip hop act The Herd playing on the slopes straight afterwards. They were awesome and we had a great night. Then it was straight to The Keller night club for far too many drinks (yep, it was a liquid dinner). As you can see from the pics, it all got a bit loose in no time at all. As for the headband - don't even ask.

It was an incredibly fun night though - with the whole village out celebrating and with not long to go until the end of the season, everyone was out in force to end the season in style - or lack of style for some!

So the next day, as I sat in the office all alone pumping out radio and written reports I was feeling very sorry for myself. Very, very sorry for myself. I then proceeded to have 3 peices of cold pizza for breakfast, a breakfast burger at about 9am and then a kebab for lunch. Yes, my head was hung in shame all day. Oh, and did I mention potato gems at 4am!? My stomach is churning just thinking about all of this.

Needless to say, I slept soundly for 16 hours that night! And it's off to the gym tonight to try and redeem myself and get my body back on my side again.

Lots of Love,

Sim x

Total Eclipse of the Heart

2007-09-04T14:09:00.001-07:00

I am slightly slow in getting this entry up, but last week we had a lunar eclipse. This photo doesn't really do it justice because the moon actually was a peach/pink colour for most of the eclipse and it was just beautiful but it gives you an idea nontheless.

I love looking at the moon at the best of times, but this was simply wonderful to witness. And what was even nicer, was seeing everyone brave the cold and stand outside in groups with drinks in hand, watching the eclipse. It was very cool.

So, I am terribly excited to be flying home to Sydney tonight. I haven't been home (or further away from here than Cooma) , for the last three-and-half months and am seriously craving some big city action. Of course, I am flying back for the APEC weekend chaos which is just typical and is foiling my plans of a dose of city night life on Friday night. But I am sure it will be great still and I can't wait to see my gorgeous puppy, my family and my friends (in no particular order - ha!).

But on the APEC note, check out the latest in the series of advertisements for here. It is very timely and very funny. It's good to know I am not the only one enjoying the slopes at the moment! Check it out and you will see what I mean...

http://www.thredbo.com.au/about/Bush-Pulls-Another-Snow-Job.asp

Lost of Love,
Sim x

My Best Blue Steele

2007-09-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

So, I have only just stopped (somewhat embarrassedly) laughing after my last achievement award on the snow. So this blog is to help my bruised ego and tell you about my first official - modelling assignment.

I have attached a few pics of Fiona and our friend Gianluca (a ski instructor from Italy) doing our very best to drink cocktails and eat meals as naturally as possible without wondering where on earth these pics may turn up and haunt me down the track, and do I have a double chin from that angle. And might I add, the food was stone cold and the drinks, non-alcoholic. What tight-ass'!

So I guess if all else fails in my ski racing career, I can become a Big W catalogue model, well maybe! Gosh, the things Fiona and I will do for a free meal.

Look out for us in a ski resort catalogue direct to you next season.

Sim x

I WON... well kind of!

2007-09-01T14:58:00.000-07:00

Oh, I am still laughing and it's three days later but I actually won at the staff ski race I wrote about in my last blog. Well, when I say won I don't mean the event, nor my age group (as originally thought!), no, no I won the... wait for it... encouragement award!

In other words, nice try but man you sucked! I checked my time and I turned out to be in the middle of the field but I think the fact that on the day I stood at the top of the course freaking out, asking everyone around me what I am meant to do and how am i meant to do it may have assisted in the award - I was clearly a first timer! Although, I reckon the red headband saying 'feelin it' and the hot pink one piece ski suit didn't hurt either.

But wait, it gets better. Do you know what I actually won? A day's ski hire so I can actually learn to ski properly. Oh, I have never laughed so hard in my laugh. This is one award going striaght to the pool room.

I always thought I was special, but not in the 'special friend' way! Oh well, there's always next year.

Love,

'Slow and Steady Smith' xx

I've got a carrot in my facsinator... darlingk!

2007-08-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

So today was the annual staff memorial day ski race. Now I will admit it, I am not a fabulous skier and even after 3 months down here I am no where near hot dogging it down the slopes just yet. But my boss convinced me to go in today's race which is more of a laugh then anything, but still involves going down a ski course (the Rosi Racecourse) one at time, through 12 gates with everyone watching. How it works is that you do the course twice and you have to try and do it in the same time. You are in a team of 2, and so the difference in your two runs are added together to get your final score. This is my kind of race - they don't call me slow and steady smith for nothing!

I went with Haig, our wonderful sticks/tripod carrier who is a fanatstic skier. And when I say went, I mean I entered him and I last night at 4.55pm (the shut off for entry forms was 5pm) and told him this morning. His reaction was - we don't have to actually ski together do we?! After from being completely offended, i laughed and then told him he had to wear a dress too in the 'racing theme'. Me on the otherhand, resurrected the old hot pink one piece and added a fascinator to the outfit. The funniest part was that I made it down the run safely and poor old Haig stacked it - so I don't think I will be drinking from the cup tonight!

So the results still aren't in just yet, but I am not holding my breath. But as you can see from the pics it was a really fun day with everyone dressing up and the Ouzo was flowing straight from the bottle to the lips at the starting line!

Sim x

Cabin Fever – CURED!

2007-08-27T16:18:00.000-07:00

So after moaning about suffering from a severe case of cabin fever after being in the village, living on top of people 24/7 for 3 months, I finally escaped and feel 1,000% better. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t love this place because I absolutely do but when you know every person you pass on the street, including their family lineage, then it becomes a bit much. Beside, my house has turned into a junkyard thanks to the two lifties and ski patroller I live with. I now refer to it as the 'bog of eternal stench'. But I can’t get into just how bad it is just now as I might cry and spiral back into my bout of cabin fever.

So when I escaped, I jumped in the car and drove to Canberra. Who thought Canberra would be an oasis of entertainment and a shopping mecca. How my perspectives have changed! I briefly saw my Mum who was taking her class to Questacon and then I shopped until I literally dropped, mostly due to being weighted down by bags and credit card receipts! What can I say, I had three months shopping down time to catch up on.

Then it was back to my gorgeous hotel room (courtesy of my boss who had been witnessing my downwards spiral due to lack of sleep and household hygiene) and after swan diving onto my big queen bed like a true princess, I ordered room service and watched TV (something I hadn’t done in ages) and ate my citrus cheese cake whilst painting my toe nails. It will go down in history as the best, most self-indulgent day I have had all year.

The next day, after doing the walk of shame by myself to the breakfast buffet – ALONE – I met up with my gorgeous Aunt who drove down to see me and had lunch and another round of shopping.

So am back now, staring out at the slopes, feel like my old self again. And the best news… I am moving into the flat next-door with the stunning Fifi my partner in crime in absolutely everything in a few nights. Amen, the accommodation god hasn’t forgotten me after all!

Sim x

Reliving the World Cup – Germany 2006

2007-08-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

True to her word, the darling Michelle posted the pics of our beloved blow up Roo who fearlessly followed us around Munich for our World Cup antics (R.I.P.), on facebook following the recent spotting of my roo’s relative on the slopes here in Thredbo the other day. So, I thought I should share these with you because he was one of the best travel companions I have had, he didn’t whinge once and was always pumped for a good time (OK, lame joke alert!).

This Roo knew how to have a good time, and sure he may have drunk too much at the Australia vs. Brazil game but he bounced back (lame joke two, one more and I will quit writing altogether, I promise). And then he was there with a broom, ready to right his wrongs. But unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and he became more than a little deflated when Australia didn’t make it past those nasty, cheating Italians (OK – I am out).

So rest in peace Roo – Shell, Ray and I will never forget you.
Sim xxx

Famous Faces from the Slopes

2007-08-21T14:01:00.000-07:00

Just a quick one today, but I have had numerous celebrity sightings on the slopes lately which I thought I should share with you. The first is the gorgeous, Sally Stanton from Saturday Disney who I have had the pleasure to work with in the past. Sally is former snow reporter herself and was so lovely in sharing all her best kept secrets about what to expect down here before I, rather hesitantly, packed my bags and headed for the hills in May this year (wow – has it really been that long?!).

Now, yesterday I walked past Andrew O’Keefe of Deal or No Deal fame in the village but my highlight would have to be when Charlie from Hi-5 skied up to me when I was doing a report up at Karel’s to say she always watches my reports before skiing straight off again! By the time I realised who it was she was gone, but I was chuffed nonetheless.

Now I also have to mention spotting Cate Blanchett at Thredboland last week, dropping her kids off before hitting the slopes herself. I just adore Cate and can’t believe how stunning she looked, even with a beanie on and sans make-up. It’s just not fair! Unfortunately, my inner groupie was suppressed long enough to prevent me from running up, gushing about how much I admire her and asking for a photo and makign a right idiot of myself.

So that’s all my celebrity spotting for now. Stay tuned for more stars of the slopes.

Sim x

Rip Curl Pro Freeride Comp

2007-08-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

I have just a had a few big days at work covering the Rip Curl Pro Freeride Comp here in Thredbo. Despite the crap weather, and I mean crap (which is bad coming from the keyboard fo a snow reporter), the event was a 'great success' and with $25,000 worth of cash and prizes there was huge international and local interest with the likes of Andy Finch, Chris Booth, Andrea Berchtold and Russ Holt competing - not that I knew who they were.

But all SERIOUSNESS aside, I was left to report on an event I knew very little about so I did some 'research' and 2 minutes before the comp plonked down in the snow next to a bunch of boarders to pick their brains about what the hell a sitchback 9 was? After a crash course in freeride and slopestyle moves I was starting to question my sources... 'was there really a move called the truck driver? And was I prepared to say that on national and cable TV and try and sound convincing?'.

My answer came (as a big fat no), when I was told one of the riders just pulled off a 'PHat Kanga-Wallaby something, something'. Yep, this was never going to work - these guys were clearly having a lend! So I decided to join in and inspired by Roy and HG's 'battered sav' commentary of the Olympic gymnastics I decided to make up my own, so next season look out for the 'Greasy DimSim Reverse 9'!

So two days later and many reports later I am much more informed in the art of slopestyle and freeride and can pick a fake trick name from a mile away. Yep, who said blondes weren't SMRT?!

So there were some pretty cool tricks to come out of the event and a whole heap of drinking to happen afetrwards. I am still recovering - seriously. My other lesson learnt was that if anyone offers you a shot of Glecier Ice, walk... nay run... far, far away preferably in a 'Backside Pluto-pup Tuck' position.

Lots of Love,

Simone x

Sunrise in the Snowies

2007-08-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

I have finally come to terms with the early morning starts here at work as a snow reporter. After two months you’d certainly hope so, but I never professed to be an early morning person. OK, maybe that’s a slight fib and in fact in my job interview when asked whether I was an early morning person I smiled sweetly and said, ‘of course!’. Well, the job interview was at 7.30am in the city so surely that proved I was a morning person because not only was I on time, could string a sentence together and was looking presentable, except for that pillow-case crease mark running down my left cheek, but I was obviosuly convincing enough to get the job! So what more screams ‘morning person’ than all those things, oh and maybe a gym bag to prove I’d already squished in a gym session’ at some crazy hour. But the truth of the matter was that not only did my alarm not go off that morning (clearly not a user error!), leaving me running ridiculously late but then I had to get a lift to the train station from my mother (god love her, who drove me in her pyjamas like only a mother would), so I didn’t miss the train altogether!

So you get the idea of how much of a morning person I am NOT, right? Right. So starting work at 5.30am four times a week has been challenging to say the least, especially when you are on local radio and national TV starting from 6am. Well, this is why this picture is so special as I snapped it at work of the sun rising over the snowie mountains just as a crow flew past (also photographic evidence of my being a morning person now). It’s so wonderful to be up at this crazy hour of the day and get to witness the start of a new day – wow was I missing out before. I never thought I’d say that.

Anyway, I miss you all heaps and am coming back for a few days to Sydney soon so hope to catch up then.

Sim x

Why Mountain Men and Me Don't Mix

2007-08-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

So I have avoided talking about my personal life on this blog for a long time. And when I say 'personal life' I really mean love life. But after a few big nights out and my very dear friend and regular confidante, Rachel, begging me to write something about it on my blog, here goes...

I have discovered that mountain men and I don't mix. Mainly because there are far too many of them to choose from and I have a hard time making decisions at the best of time. So my latest story happened to a very good 'friend of mine' who happened to have a party pash with a hot italian stallion ski instructor, only to do the same thing a few nights later (no, she really isn't a tart!) only to find out that not only do the two guys know each other but they live together. But wait, it gets better... they share a room together! So despite the abumdance of mountain men, I... I mean my friend, kisses two guys who live in the one room.

And if that's not bad enough, she then has to throw a coat over her head and run out of a night club when she spots one of them a few nights later due to 1. pure embarassment and 2. because she was with another guy! What a shocker. So that's why mountain men and I don't mix.

The attached picture is from my night out last night to a party at the Eagles Nest restuarant at the top of the mountain. It was a great night but my head still hurts today as I sit here at work. And it's really not surprising just check out the calibre of photos to come from last night. And for the record, that's not me in the pic. It's 'my friend'.

Lots of Love, Sim x

What does your beanie say about you?

2007-08-10T19:37:00.000-07:00

One thing I have discovered as I sit here and day dream out the office window at the skiers and boarders on Friday Flat is that you can read lot into what people wear, especially on their heads. After hours of contemplation, this is what I have come up with. I warn you now, this is deep beyond belief and may make you think twice before you reach for a beanie…

HEADBAND – GIRLS
I have nice hair, I want you to see my nice hair because it took me two hours to straighten my nice hair to make it look nice. If it rains and my hair goes frizzy I will just die!

HEADBAND – BOYS
One of two scenarios: I have big ears and nice hair, or I think that I am cool enough to pull-off girls’ headwear without looking like a chump.

BEANIE WITH POM POMS
I had such a good childhood that I want to dress like I did when I was 5 years old. Anyone for a cordial?

BEANIE WITH EAR-FLAPS
If I wasn’t wearing a beanie I would probably be wearing a trucker cap or an akubra – now watch me crush an empty beer can on my forehead.

BEANIES WITH A VISOR
I am hoping everyone will follow suit, making this the fashion item of the season - if only I could see where I was going.

FUR HAT
I didn’t have enough money for a trip to St Anton’s in Austria and in my tantrum-like state when my sugar daddy said we were only going to the Australian ski fields I forgot to pack my Prada beanie so this dead possum on the side of the road was all I could find to keep my head warm.

HOODIE
You can find me at the terrain park 24/7 and chances are my pants will be sitting awkwardly around my waist showing just a hint of boxer and an inch of butt crack to entice the ‘ledies’.

POINTED BEANIE
No, I don’t think I am Noddy, I just couldn’t find a mirror to check my beanie fit when I bought it, or it was a gift from my girlfriend who is skiing with me now.

NO BEANIE
I have never been skiing or boarding before. You will find me at Friday Flat, on my butt and freezing cold.

HELMET
My mother/father/girlfriend/wife said I couldn’t go riding without it.

FUNNY HAT
If I am over the age of 10, I must be working with kids, on a bux weekend to the slopes or the world’s biggest attention seeker.

And for the record, I am a proud owner of just about every single type of beanie described above – except for the Fur Hat as that’s just ridiculous. So what does that say about me? If I was being objective, I’d say that maybe it means that I am indecisive and haven’t found my niche on the slopes but truthfully it means I am ‘huge girl’ who likes to shop and colour co-ordinate at all times.

Sim x

Crazy Weather on the Slopes

2007-08-09T21:14:00.000-07:00

The weather over the last few days on the slopes has been crazy, almost as crazy as my love life but that’s a whole other story that I am not going to share with you right now.

The last three days, gale force winds have swept through the mountains, pretty much sweeping away everything else with it. I thought our roof was going to blow off the other night with winds measuring 140km and with most chairlifts being put on windhold.

However, there was one day between all of this crazy weather where the sun came out in full force and shone down on us – as in the picture. Only problem is that it was so hard packed that I picked up a nice momento from the slopes at the bottom of my stock!

And on other pressing news, I have finally bit the bullet and joined facebook much to my own disgust. I have held out this long but could no longer stand my friends constantly send those e-mail reminders to join. So see you on Facebook, unless of course you have more will power and haven’t succumb yet!

Simone x

Snow shoeing – one snowy step at a time

2007-08-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

My folks recently came down to visit me in Thredbo. I think it was also just a really good excuse for a weekend away but that’s fine with me – it was great to see them and to dine out for a change. My meagre budget usually limits me to one night at the pizzeria or kebab shop per week! Nay, make that per fortnight!

So Mum and Dad had never skied in their life which left me wondering what we were going to do for three days in al Alpine resort. You have to hit the slopes in some capacity if you come all the way to the snow. So I strapped my thinking cap on and enrolled us into snow shoeing.

It was such a magic, blue sky day and we had a blast. Sadly Mum got sick and had to pull out but Dad and I unleashed our inner Antarctic explorer and strapped on our snow shoes which I was relieved to find our much more fancy than the tennis racquet-looking contraptions from once upon a time. We had a blast and I cannot stop recommending it to everyone down here.

I think the best part was going backcountry and being away from the hoards of skiers and boarders. There was not a soul around and we could see all the way to Mount Kosciusko. It was easy to become snap happy – it was so picturesque.

The brochure claimed that if you can walk, you can snow shoe. There’s really not much more to it than that!

Simone x

Record Breaking Flare Run

2007-08-05T20:40:00.000-07:00

Last Monday, we broke an Australian record. It was the 10th anniversary of the Thredbo road collapse and to pay tribute to the 18 people who passed away on July 30 1997 we held a flare run in Thredbo.

The previous Australian record was 745 skiers here in Thredbo on the 1st anniversary, but this year we were hoping to break this. The World Record is held in Switzerland with 1,321 riders doing a flare run on 1st January 2000 to kick-off the millennium.

So how many skiers and boarders registered for Thredbo’s 10th Anniversary flare run? 1,400! Sadly on 1,269 of these riders turned up on the night despite it being a gorgeous, clear full moon night. So although we just missed out on the World Record, we smashed the Australian record! Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine we would get that many riders.

I was working on the night, giving ‘on the spot’ radio reports from the chairlift so was unable to go in the flare run but I did get a great view of it from the pub (with a drink in hand of course) and it was unreal – just check out the picture our resort photographer took – an unreal spectacle and a fitting tribute to those that passed away but loved the mountain and Thredbo.

Congrats to all involved.

Simone x

Re-united with my blow-up roo

2007-07-27T19:59:00.001-07:00

Before I get into my most recent, whacky sighting on the slopes you have to hear the back story first.

I went to Germany last June/July with the lovely Shell and Ray for the World Cup which I must add was one of the best and biggest experiences of my life. But there was also a fourth companion on our trip, my blow-up kangaroo. I bought him for a small fortune in Clapham Fancy Dress in London and he came to all games with us, sat in our room and literally had as much fun as we did. I wish I had the many photos of him eating a Big Mac on a midnight Maccas run, rolling down the main strasse of Munich in a shopping trolley and sitting on the tram going to the Croatia vs. Australia Game with some Croatian fans. This roo got around and I got rather attached to him. Might I add that a picture of roo and I made it in the London Times newspaper and the Sydney Morning Herald all the way back home. We were quite the pair!

Now at the Croatia vs. Australia game I had my roo with me and in all of the excitement of making it through to the next round roo, and yes I am ashamed of this part, was thrown in the air and got swallowed up by the revelling crowd. I couldn’t find him anywhere. It dampened the celebrations for a few seconds but I knew I would fin him – he wouldn’t abandon me now, not after all we had been through.

And yes, I did find him but it wasn’t a happy ending. Roo was deflated (literally) and crushed under a seat. I spotted him when I was leaving and had to look away, he was a World Cup casualty, he was road kill on the side of the celebratory highway.

So, imagine my surprise when I was standing on the slopes in Australia, doing a piece to camera for my TV snow report and something caught out of the corner of my eye. “Could that be my roo skiing towards me?!” The answer was yes. I have the picture to prove it. It was a grand re-union and just goes to prove that ‘happily ever after’ stories do happen every day.

THE END.

Simone x

Hideously Hot

2007-07-16T16:33:00.000-07:00

Saturday night was the Viva Glam Party at the Lake Jindabyne Hotel. It was meant to be a fundraiser and although I am sure they raised a substantial amount of money for the up and coming winter athletes, the focus of the night was solely on what everyone was wearing.

As you can see from the pic, my wingman Miss Fifi aimed to look hideously hot – and that we did. Think the love child of Cindy Lauper in all her 80s flouro glory and the soccer mum from hell with a fetish for parachute material tracksuits and you have our outfits down to a tee. The theme was glamorous outrageous but I think we got too caught up in the outrageous factor. I have never worn a one piece ski suit before and I hope I never have to – those things are a nightmare to get off to go to the toilet! Thank goodness I had to work the next morning at 8am and couldn’t drink (yes, sadly I don’t have to be blind drunk to dress and dance like an idiot!).

My little secret was I wore my one piece inside out – it was hot pink inside and looked so much

better then the gross green and purple design on the inside. I thought I was so clever until someone pointed out I forgot to cut the tag off the back – ha ha! I got dared to reverse it halfway through the night and reveal my secret identity but I got too carried away and forgot. Plus, it would have taken about 20 minutes to squeeze in and out of again! However, I did find a receipt in the pocket. I checked the date and this hot little number was last worn at perisher Blue in 1996 – 1996! Someone actually wore this 11 years ago!

It was such a fun night. So many people went to a huge effort. Standouts were Super Mario, and the Evil Cannevil twins. The DJ played some quality 80s disco all night and I think I burnt a hole in the bottom of my green Converse chuck tailors from all the running man moves I did.

So the million dollar question, did anyone touch the one piece? No, no they didn’t’. But in the ‘touch the one piece game’ I wrote about last time, I must have received a big bonus of 10 points for wearing one! That should bring my tally to about 12.

Have a good one and do what I say, not what I do!

Simone

Bottoms Up

2007-07-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

Being Sunday morning I thought I would take this chance to discuss one of the many great traditions in the mountains… shotting a few schnapps after a big day on the slopes to warm the soul and loosen up the dancing feet. I am well versed in this practice now after 2 months in the snowies!

The après ski venue is your call and the type of schnapps is completely up to your taste buds but the way you knock it back is non-optional. There’s only one way to shot it in the mountains - the little finger must hold the base of the shot glass and the thumb must rest on the rim.

I have done my research and legend has it that once upon a time, schnapps was drunk out of a ceramic shot-glass and passed around. By holding the shot glass in this way your lips don’t actually touch the glass therefore making it a much more hygienic communal drinking exercise. Ahmen for that.

So what makes schnapps the drink of choice on the slopes? You can’t grow grapes on the mountains due to the cold climate and altitude but you can grow fruit for schnapps. Simple as that.
Now there’s also one more rule before knocking back a shot, you must lock eyes with the people you cheers with otherwise, rumour has it, you’ll have bad luck. I was told it was because you will have bad sex for the rest of your life but this has since been ridiculed when I (rather sheepishly) asked around. So drinking schnapps might seem like a lot to remember but you can’t fight tradition… bottoms up!

Sim x

The Blizzard Wizard – too funny!

2007-07-09T19:25:00.000-07:00

OK, so it is really touch work being a snow reporter. Apart from starting work at 5.30am and being on radio at 6am and on national TV live at 6.45am some days, you are also responsible for relying important information to would be skiers and boarders. So it is a hugely fun job as well and I wouldn’t swap places with anyone, we do cop some flack from the public and other resort colleagues who claim that we ‘lie, stretch the truth and must be blind!’.

Part of the job description included, must be able to ski, have media experience and be extremely thick-skinned! We can be standing outside in the freezing snow and have people hurl abuse at us as they ski by – really nice. But the best line I heard and one I actually use myself now is, this…

“Why does a snow reporter make a good girlfriend? She thinks 5cm is 15cm!” Insert canned laughter here. So basically, any joke about weather reporters you've got... chances are I have heard it all before.

The other day, however, there was a blizzard and I came up with what I thought was a terribly creative line which I later used on national TV. Ready for it? “The blizzard wizard has cast a snowy spell over the mountain today.” It really reeks of cheese, I know that but it sounded like pure gold. However, my ever cheerful and funny colleagues haven’t let me live this one down and in fact, my nickname is now the blizwiz which has lead to the attached picture being mocked up with one of the guys who had far too much time on his hands! I think it’s hilarious, even if it looks like I have just kissed a toad. So the moral of today’s story – always look for the humour in every comment and situation and then vent and whinge later on. Thanks for reading as I blow up off steam for today!

Ciao x

Touch the one piece

2007-07-06T17:54:00.000-07:00

Since my last entry on fashion on the slopes I have been reminded of a fabulous phenomenon that has been sweeping Europe before even the St Bernard's took to the slopes with their barrell of life saving rum around their necks - touch the one piece.

A one piece is the hideous attire on the slope which passes on anyone under 10 but anyone else should be shot or at least forced to stare in a full length mirror to endure what everyone else must - every bulge and roll on their body one dsiplay to the world. Let's just say it is not pretty unless you have the figure of a Greek goddess.

One pieces were rife in the 80s (yes, yet another hideous fashion item from the 80s) and for this very reason are often fluoro coloured. The other day I spotted some poor 10+ year old wearing a fluoro orange jumpsuited one piece - when she sees these pictures at her 21st she will hate her mother!

Sorry I got a little side-tracked in my hatred for the one piece - back to the game. Touch the one piece is as it sounds, you must try and touch a one piece worn by someone without them knowing. You get one point for each stealth touch or two if you have enough guts to tell the person, therefore pointing out how hideously out of date their attire is! I first played this game in Switzerland and it was a lot of fun. At the end of our week I think I got five touches, mostly scored during drunken apres ski sessions.

I have now passed this wonderful tradition on to my work colleagues here and we have started the tally. We will be here for another four months so you can only hope we will be in double, if not triple figures. Stay tuned for the results at the end of the season we I endeavour to 'touch the one piece'.

So let that be a warning to those of you considering to dust of the olds one piece to wear on the slopes - I will be lurking behind you ready to score some points!

Simone x

Fashion on the slopes - taste optional!

2007-07-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

As all seasoned skiers and boarders will tell you, it’s function over fashion on the slopes. Well, let’s face it. It’s cold, often wet and sometimes windy so it’s much better to remain dry and warm then soggy and frozen. But you also have to look OK. Actually, make that 'damn good' as fashion on the slopes has become a big thing as we now ride AND dress to impress.

It appears that this season patterns are in. You see riders (especially boarders) in tartan and striped matching, oversized jackets and pants but if you ask me they look like they would be better worn to bed as pyjamies then on the slopes.

Otherwise, it’s bright colours. Salmon and bright green are in this season – bold colours you can spot hurtling down the slopes a million miles an hour. Fur trimming seems to be in again, but as long as it’s faux, that is. No Zsa Zsa mink stoles ‘Paleeeas sweeties.’

The biggest, all time fashion faux pax has to be the one piece suit. Sure, the function over fashion debate might break out over this one again but really, it just plain and simply looks bad on anyone over the age of 10. The imagination is a wonderful thing!

Some big no nos that I have spotted on the slopes lately include tight lycra leggings tucked into ski boots and… jeans. Yes, jeans. The most restrictive and moisture holding fabric on the planet and I am not talking about ski pants designed to look like denim, I am talking your Levi 501s, stone washed! But the all time, take the cake and eat it to award goes to the gentlemen in the picture I have posted. He wore a (let’s cringe together here), tie-dyed ONE PIECE with a novelty Mad Hatter’s foam top hat! I must have bumped into this guy a handful of times over the past week and although I have to give him credit for having the guts to wear this ensemble day after day, some things should remain buried at the back of the cupboard!

Simone x

Mountain Fever…

2007-06-30T15:28:00.001-07:00

There’s nothing worse then being sick but being crook and sharing a room with someone sucks. Then, what really, really sucks is being sick, sharing a room with someone and having to start work at 5.30am in the morning and WALK 10-15 minutes to work by yourself in the snow at 5am and pitch black feeling more sorry for yourself then previously thought possible. Yep, that describes my past 24hours.

I have some sort of fever/headache/body aches which is not great in the snow. Apparently, a few other people I work with and live with have had this recently so at least I am not alone but that does little to help the aches.

Oh, and I didn’t even mention that of course, I got struck by this horrible mystery lurgie on my much anticipated two days off! What timing. It was back-to-back couch days for me. Oh well, the joys of communal mountain living hey! I am off to stock up on the vitamins.

Simone x

Why fashion clouds common sense

2007-06-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing I have learnt this week, it's that heels and snow don't mix. It might sound damn obvious to some people, and in retrospect it does to me too, but I thought I was above the law of slipperiness - well I hoped I was and tried my luck going outa few nights ago in a pair of heeled boots. Really, you can't blame me all that much. I have worn my Oliver, steel capped thick tread boots for a whole month now and I am a real 'girlie girl' when it comes to fashion and these things are hideous and wouldn't even send the most insanely foot fetished feign into a frenzy.

So, I thought heck, we are going out for a nice dinner, it is time to leave the boots at home with Bertha the backpack. Boy, did I pay! I guess I also choose to fogrget there is a big set of stairs and steep driveway leading down from my apartment to the road and with the day before's fresh 20cm of snow - this was never going to be a good idea.

I literally slipped and slide the whole way down, cursing my heart out whilst I had flashbacks of doing the same thing in Verbier Switzerland 5 month's earlier (Pru and Shell will back me up on this one) and having to, yes I admit it, crawl home on my hands and knees after a big night out and that driveway was three times the length of this one. Mind you, I think that was part alcohol induced too!

So, how was I ever going to get back home later that night? The answer was pretty much the same way as I did in Verbier - crawl. Since then I have learnt that boys do have their advantages and have since been piggy backed and winched via a human chain up the driveway! Great look that. Then, miracle hit, I was relaying this story to my much wiser boss who filled me in on a trade little secret - wear your ugly boots and carry your heels in a bag... genius!

Tonight, I am planning a big night out as I have the next day off so I am going to comfortably walk down the driveway with my ugly boots on but with my heels tucked safely under my arm. As for the walk back up later tonight, well I guess I will still be crawling up that damn driveway, you can't blame everything on heels!

x

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

2007-06-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has ever back packed will know that sharing a room, a couch, a floor space or beanbag can be (uncomfortable and) tough when you have other people’s bodily functions to deal with.

Right now, after having the room to myself for a fortnight, I am living with a snorer. I am not just talking about a light grunt, a rhythmic snort or a nasal congestive wheeze from time to time. No, I am talking about a full blow train/grizzly bear. It is murder and it is driving me insane. The past two mornings when the alarm sounded at 4.55am (that’s not a typo) I almost wanted to quit my job and risk everything to just stay in bed and actually get some shut eye – every girl needs their beauty sleep, OK?!

The hardest part to this situation is that there is no foreseeable solution. My room mate (who I should add here is absolutely lovely) can’t do anything about it which makes the thought of sharing a room for the next three months horrifying to say the least.

So after 2 nights of creeping out on the couch for a few hours of peaceful sleep, I broached the subject with my roomie. So what happened last night, I had the most wonderful, sound sleep and woke up happily at 4.55amand rolled over and gently turned off the alarm only to find the room empty. The snorer had gone out and had a huge night on the town and passed out on the couch – gold! Now how do I get her to go out every night?! Wish me luck.

Sleeping Beauty… um, I mean Simone xx

P.S. That's the view out of my office - not bad, hey!?

Cougars and kittens... what the?

2007-06-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

You learn something new every single day, especially when living with guys. I will never understand how the male mind works but I am at least trying to get an insight into it. However, the other day I learnt something so funny I had to share it - it's called the Cougars vs. Kitten syndrome and it is writh in the snow.

The idea is that men fall into two categories - guys that go for cougars or guys that go for kittens. A kitten is a attractive girl younger in age then the guy which I guess makes sense but a cougar is an older woman who is out on the prowl, knows what she wants, money and goes for younger men! Know any of these women?

Well, there are a few prowling the mountain, I can tell you. I witnessed it first hand at the pub the other night. There is some clever (at least the guys seemed to think it was clever), acronym for cougar too like "Cut, Older, Unattached, Girl, Attractive and Randy"! Trying saying that after a few beers!

So, at this same night at the pub during an apres ski session a cougar decided to direct her anger at me and went up to the guy I was talking to and said loud enough so I could here, "Really, is she even legal!" implying that I was underage (yes, it's that baby face again!). I was shocked and appalled and went up to her and introduced myself - I figured it was the least i could do. "Hi," I said, "My name is Simone and I am 24." Well that shut her up and the cougar retreated to the cave she had crawled from!

The moral of today's story - watch out for the cougars they can be vicious towards the kittens but they forget kittens have claws too! That's one for the younger generation - meoow.

Simone x

Snow glorious snow

2007-06-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

The 2007 season may only just be gearing up but we had 30cm of snow in the last 24hours! Awesome. The picture is from High Noon looking back down to Thredbo village.

I had a great time skiing yesterday, I knocked off work at 2pm (keeping in mind I started at 5.30am so don’t be too jealous) and headed straight to the slopes. There was top to bottom skiing to be had at High Noon which is a blue/intermediate run and I had my first solo stack! And the worst part was, I made it all the way down the steep bits and then on the flatest, of flat bits I just zoned out and got my skis tangled up – typical! I think I was dreaming of what I could get up to that night.

Now I must clarify when I say I had my first solo stack because I had a stack with my friend the other day when we literally headed straight for each other and instead of turning, we both screamed like the big girls that we are and collided and just rolled down the hill as we caused an avalanche of blonde hair! It would have been quite a sight.

So, I am tossing up whether to hit the slopes again this afternoon or go to the gym because one of the major draw backs of working down at the snow seems to be the amount of hot chips, hot chocolate and schnapps I seem to consume on a daily basis. If I wrote it down each time I am sure I would be appalled.

On that note, I am going to have lunch! I will have to get some will power and say no to the chips. Hmmm… but they taste so good.
See you x

One board vs. two

2007-06-16T22:08:00.001-07:00

It’s a debate going around the village at the moment: to ski or snowboard?

According to my roommates who just spent last season working as lifties in Snow Mass in the US, snowboarding is going down in popularity as more and more punters are waxing two boards as opposed to one before hitting the slopes. So if it is happening in the US it is bound to happen in Oz, right?

Wrong! The boarders were out in droves in Thredbo today and I actually felt like the minority as I carved up the slopes on two skis. Of course, my goal this season is to learn to board because as an avid wakeboarder (when I can stow away on a friend’s boat) I figure I at least have a slight head start. But as I have just discovered that I am working the next 6 days straight, I guess I will be waiting a little while until I get to test out my backside 180s just yet. So stay tuned for broken bones, bruised bums and hilarious tales of disaster on a board.

If you want to have your say posted on the snowboard vs ski debate, just post a comment on my blog and we will see how many people we can offend in the process! I guess I fall in the category of fence sitting – a skier who wants to board.

On that note, I took my camera on the slopes today and got a great shot of a guy going off a jump at Walkabout up at the Cruiser. That will be me one day – easy!
Simone x

The best fun on two skis...

2007-06-15T16:14:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the Snowies,

Another day, another stack-free run on the slopes.

For those readers of my good friend Pru’s blog will know that we all went on a wonderful ski trip to Verbier in Switzerland in January. This was the most amazing trip and we stayed in a gorgeous ski-in and ski-out chalet. Of course for me, the rookie skier, that was quite challenging on day 1 but by day 7 I was fanging it down.

So I now have all my own ski gear and have had two refresher lessons here in Thredbo and proud to say that I can confidently and quickly do a parallel turn. So not only do I look the part but I am slowly becoming the part too! Thank goodness for that.

The only near miss I had on the slopes was when my friend Fiona fell over and I turned around to laugh and nearly collided with a cute Ski patroller! Luckily he knew what he was doing and did a quick turn and got out of my path otherwise I may have ruined my track record and bruised my bottom and my ego!

So it’s Saturday and I am itching to get out on the mountain. I wake up to it out my window and my office is right on the beginner’s trail of Friday Flat. I am going to abandon you for the mountain once again. I hope I haven’t jinxed myself.

Simone xx

Sorry Tom... we are having a roast

2007-06-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

I have had a long day out on the slopes today! The weather was very chilly but we had a few centimetres of fresh snow which made carving it up down the mountain great fun!

Now, I am about to head home where my lovely flatmate is making a roast for dinner - how great is that!

My living arrangements have improved drastically and I am enjoying my flaties - who wouldn't when they cook up a storm. Oh, and I know have a kitchen window so the place is getting more homely by the minute.

My room mate is set to move in soon so I am going to have to limit my mess to my side of the room. Anyone who knows me knows that this will be very tough. But everyone is very friendly and communal down here and nearly evbery night we are going out to dinner or aroudn to someone's place - it's fantastic! I managed not to kill anyone with my thai red curry the other night!

This has to be one of the most bland entries I have ever done but after four 12-14hour days at work, I am lacking in creativity somewhat. Don't worry, I have tomorrow off and should be over flowing with witty tales, silly stories of disaster and mishaps because if you are taking the time to read about my adventures I want to keep you laughing and coming back for more.

Ok, night from this brain dead snow bunny.

xxxx

'Tis the season to be jolly

2007-06-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

The 2007 winter season kicked off this past long weekend and what a cracker it was! We had sunshine, smiles, stacks and... drum roll please... snow! What more could a snow reporter ask for.

I have managed to squeeze in 3 days on the gorgeous slopes of Thredbo. I have definitely found my snow legs again and am carving it up on a base of fresh natural and manmade snow. Gosh, I really do sound like a reporter don't I?! It's hard to drop the lingo when you have been churning out radio, TV and print snow reports from 5.30am this morning. I never thought I would know what a bonk bin was and no, it's not what it seems.

Snow showers are forecast for the rest of the week which is terribly exciting. My goal this season is too learn to snow board.

Once I catch up on some much needed beauty sleep I shall report back with my latest adventures both on and off the slopes as the apres ski sessions are just warming up.

Hope to see you on the slopes of Thredbo

Simone

P.S. Bertha the backpack sends her love. She is enjoying a peaceful rest under my bed.

Yes – Australia has snow!

2007-06-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

I have had the last three days off – the calm before the storm of work – as I am calling it. The time has been great and has allowed me to meet a heap of new people, both locals and seasonal staff who are starting to trickle in.

One of the funniest things, apart from realising just how high the percentage of guys to girls is in Thredbo, is that overseas travellers didn’t realise Australia has fantastic ski fields and all year round alpine villages like Thredbo. This is fair enough when you think of some of Australia’s ambassadors and celebrities such as Crocodile Dundee, Ian Thorpe (Olympic swimmer), Nicole Kidman with her former days as a BMX bandit and any other sporting champion who excelled in summer sports. Let’s face it, where is Olympic gold medallist Steven Bradbury who made us shocked but proud as we ice skated to victory at the Winter Olympics to reieve one of our ONLY two gold medals in history?

So for those of you unfamiliar with Australia’s ski fields, consider this your Course 1.01 in ‘carving up the pow down under’.

Australia’s main ski fields are located in the Snowy Mountains region in NSW and in Victoria. The main ski resorts include my current home of Thredbo which is a 6 hour drive from Sydney and 7 hour drive from Melbourne, Perisher, Selwyn ski fields, Falls Creek and Mount Hotham.

The Aussie ski season kicks off this long weekend (June 9th) and goes until around the start of October, depending on what mother nature brings to the slopes. Of course, thanks to technology snowmaking has improved over the years meaning there are more days for skiing, snowboarding, snow shoeing and snow fighting than every before. You gotta love that.

Like your big resort towns in Canada, the US and Europe there are a heaps of jobs on offer and let’s face it, a heap of skiing, boarding and partying to be had because that’s what most of us are here for.

So, if that hasn’t motivated you to come and work a ski season in Oz or to at least come for a visit, you could always come in summer as the mountain biking and summer sports expand at villages such as Thredbo.

OK, that’s the end of the lecture. I will have a pop quiz for you next time.

It’s time to hit the gym and get fit before hitting the slopes. Come on snowy goodness!
Simone x

June 1 - the first day of winter

2007-06-01T00:43:00.000-07:00

I have arrived in Thredbo.

The best news is, the season doesn’t kick-off until the June long weekend and there is already snow on the slopes and in the village – what a wonderfully white welcome to Thredbo.

The drive from Sydney takes about 6 hours and although I had my car fully serviced before going down to the snowy mountains (including getting anti-freeze in the radiator), I didn’t factor in my female instincts which prevented me from filling up with petrol before hitting the freeway! What can I say except that I am living up to my name – blonde with a backpack.

Luckily, a BP was just over the next hill as I hit rock bottom so as I rolled down in neutral and released a sigh of relief. My passenger, Chris who is also coming down for the season, was known the wiser, despite thinking I was a little too excited about filling up for gas.

So each day more and more staff are rolling into the village and it is starting to buzz. I have spent the last two days in orientation and am terribly excited about the season ahead. The only major draw back – staff accommodation!

I am in an apartment block named Bogong 4 but when I was first handed the keys and told to go move into ‘bogan 4’ I thought it was a joke. The truth is there were some serious bogans living in my flat before me and they made it their mission to make the place as filthy as they were. Example one of 50 was the fact I no longer have a kitchen window. A thin curtain may have disguised the fact at first, but after a very cold first night I quickly discovered this vital element to my new home.

Luckily, this has been fixed and I currently have the place to myself and it has been cleaned. My room mate (yes, room mate) will be arriving soon and my two flatmates arrive next week. I have been told that they are lifties (lift operators) so I am expecting two robust, hairy guys named Bazza and Wazza to come knocking on my door next week. Let’s hope I am pleasantly surprised.

I do, however, have a spectacular view of the snowy mountains from my bedroom window which is a dream to wake up to.

Simone signing off, from Thredbo.
x

Dover - Absolutely Fabulous!

2007-05-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

The countdown continues - only seven more sleeps until I speed down to the Snowy Mountains.

I dragged out a neglected Bertha the backpack from under my bed last night. I dusted her off, pulled off the old stickers from my last flight home to Sydney, and briefed her on our next adventure - Thredbo.

Inside, I found a brochure from a recent trip to Dover with my partner in crime and UK room mate, Shannon, aka Shaggy Dulu.

Dover is in South East England and is a stones throw (OK, short boat ride) across the Channel to France. It is known for its white, chalk cliffs. In fact, this was the last sight of her beloved England that my great-grandmother saw as she sailed to Australia to start a new life. Over 80 years later, Shannon and I decided to go hiking across these iconic cliffs - in the peak of winter.

Wearing my newly purchased ski gear Shannon and I braved the cold and took in the majestic views. However, we were the only crazy kids to go hiking and as soon as the wind blew up we were forced to crawl, Patsy and Eddie-style, across the cliffs in our brand spanking new outfits.

If only we were crawling due to an over indulgence of Bolli! Alas, this was purely for survival reasons to avoid being blown off the cliffs and floating to over to Normandy.

After walking three hours in one direction and then what felt like six hours back, we headed straight for a hot shower at our gorgeous b&b. Much to our hosts horror we were now water-logged, muddy versions of our former selves.

When in Dover, aside from taking in the white cliffs, visit the charming Dover Castle and Secret Wartime Tunnels from an interesting history lesson in to Operation Dynamo - the evacuation of Dunkirk.

One of the best tips I can give to any traveller in the UK is to visit the National Express website for diret cheap coach/bus rides across the country. It is much cheaper than the trains with this weekend expedition costing 5 pounds each way - 'tell 'em they're dreaming'!

So, at least my ski gear has been well and truly broken in.

Until my next adventure....

Kenya - my last backpacking adventure

2007-05-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have 18 days left before I pack up my life, again, and move down to Thredbo to kick off the 2007 ski season as... drum roll please... a snow reporter.

Just think Bridget Jones on two skis.

To say I am excited is a huge understatement. So, before i jet off again leaving Sydney's gorgeous beaches, fabulous bars and restaurants, and tempting shopping in my wake I thought I would take time out to relive my last adventure with Bertha the backpack when in February of this year I headed to Mombasa Kenya to work as volunteer.

For those of you thinking of partaking in this type of adventure, just do it. Going to Africa is an unbelievable experience in itself but working and becoming part of a community is even more memorable and rewarding. I was expecting to be impressed my the African wildlife but it was the people that won me over.

A typical day for me involved walking 2km to the local school, making ouji (a sweet type of porridge) for breakfast for the 80+ kindie kids, washing up with little more than a bar of soap and a bucket of water, planting and pruning casurina trees, builiding desks, painting the school buildings and helping the teachers in the classrooms. There was just so much to be done.

Whilst in Kenya, Shannon (my fellow adventurer and partner in all bizarre travel expeditions) and I were given nick-names by the locals. Her name was Shaggy Dulu which is Swahili for sexy and hard working (naturally two adjectives that belong together - just think Naomi Campbell on community service, ha ha), and my nickname was Kadzo which is Swahili for small and cute, so I was told. It could have meant sweaty and smelly for all I cared, I was just honoured to have a Swahili name.

I have never left a holiday before with my backpack weighing less than when I arrived - I just couldn't help but give away my belongings to those who needed them more. Bertha the backpack was in shock.

If my experiences in Kenya interest you, please check out the Camps International website for more information on how to go on a working holiday as a volunteer in Africa. They offer all sorts of packages catering to different age groups and interests. www.campsinternational.com I went on the Community Life 2 Project and cannot reccommend it enough foe first timers to Africa who are looking to do a mix of volunteer work and sight-seeing.

Happy travels.

Sim/Kadzo xx

Taking the backpack on a trial run

2007-05-06T02:44:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my blog.

I am hoping that I will be able to look back on this blog one day and say to myself 'ah, I remember that' and that along the way to being able to say that, I hope to keep a few of you entertained with 'what not to do' rather than 'what to do' when traveling. Someone has to learn from my mistakes!

So I am going to treat this first posting as a type of NY resolutions list for a first time blogger. Here goes...

1. I hope to make regular entries
2. I hope not to bore anyone being polite enough to read this
3. I hope to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (embarrassing as few people as possible)
4. I hope to never look back and cringe (a possible reconsideration of point 3 required)
5. I hope to post as many pictures as possible to keep this site interesting
6. I hope to provide as much travel information and links to other potentially more informative and interesting blogs as possible, without ruling out point 2
7. I hope to stop starting sentences with I hope

Let's see what happens.

In the meantime, I look forward to continue bonding with my backpack who I have lugged through Europe and Africa in the past 12 months. Bertha has served me well, so far.

At the end of this month I will be loading up Bertha to tackle Thredbo over the 2007 ski season. Let's see how she (OK, I really mean me) handles the cold.

Stay tuned for more from me, 'I hope'.

Simone x